Cut Steve's Blatherings

Last Post

2006-02-02T10:34:00.000-06:00

I now have a blog on Live Journal to replace this one. The URL is http://saintonge.livejournal.com/. See you there.

Goodbye Google, and don't be evil — UNLESS IT PAYS REALLY WELL!

Thank God For Global Waming

2006-01-26T12:46:00.000-06:00

It's up to 45° Farenheit. In January. In Minneapolis.

Hurrah!

Recently, I noticed something called Hoodwinked! was big at the box office. Having no idea, I googled it and found the plot summarized as:

Little Red Riding Hood: A classic story, but there's more to every tale than meets the eye. Before you judge a book by its cover, you've got to flip through the pages. For this story, we begin at the end. Furry and feathered cops from the animal world investigate a domestic disturbance at Granny's cottage, involving a girl, a wolf, and an axe. The charges are many: breaking and entering, disturbing the peace, intent to eat, and wielding an axe without a license. Not to mention, this case might be tied to the elusive "Goody Bandit" who has been stealing the recipes of goody shops everywhere.

It sounded worth taking a chance on, so yesterday K. and I went to see it. It was hilarious. Much better than I'd hoped for. Go see it. I don't want to say more, because I don't want to ruin the surprises, but it reminds me of Airplane: the kind of thing where you want to recite nearly every line. It's all around excellent.

Stay warm.

Excitement at Casa St. Onge

2006-01-21T21:16:00.000-06:00

We were going to go to the movies, but instead, we stayed home and caught up on telvision. Ya know, I'm not sure I can stand this high-pressure environment.

In other big news, we're eating lots of microwave popcorn. It's something both our stomachs will handle without problems. Right at the moment, we have maybe six to eight varieties, as we try out various flavors.

Oh, and I'm married, and coming up soon on my twentieth anniversary of living with K. Something I didn't expect when I moved in with her. "It's better to be lucky than good," and I got real lucky with her.

Stay warm.

Booooooooring

2006-01-20T04:54:00.000-06:00

I'm downloading software, and it's taking hours. I wanna go to sleep, but I'm staying up to watch this process unfold. *Grump*

Oh well, it was cheap. But I wonder how it would have worked for someone with a dial-up modem? Especially one where they took you off line periodically, to give other people a chance to use it. I had one of them, once.

While waiting, I found the latest version of cow politics, with new additions, at Pamela's site:

DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICANISM You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

SOCIALIST You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

COMMUNIST You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You wait in line for hours to get it. It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. You go to lunch and drink wine. Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION You have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION You have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five speak English. Most are illegals. Arnold likes the ones with the big udders
Hat tip Paul T

ok guys, I want one on Iran..........this should be good

From Lawhawk

New Orleans Cows: You have two cows. They're both made of chocolate and need life preservers.

Taliban cows: You have two cows. Both are covered head to toe in a burka and are fearful of making milk for fear of being 'tipped.'

Iranian cows: There are no Iranian cows. If there are Iranian cows, they're being used for peaceful purposes. If they're not being used for peaceful purposes, they're being used as per our right as a sovereign right. And as our sovereign right, we intend to use the cows on you at our earliest possible convenience.

Reader Barry D;

Canadian. You have a perfectly nice great white cow and your neighbor to the south has a big brown, black and white cow. You brag that your cow is really better even if smaller because it gets free state supplied veterinary service and its milk is always cold (but that's because the cow waited in line outside for eight months to see the vet). You complain about the oppressiveness of your nieghbor's colorful cow and how you'd never want a cow like that. You create comedy shows about your nieghbor's cow and send Canadian farmers to be news readers on their TV programs. You stomp your feet. Then, you throw some black and brown paint on your cow and fatten it up.

Reader Larson casts pearls,

Iranian Corporation
You have a herd of cows which makes a lot of money due to the high price of milk. You spend it all to research mad cow disease for 'peaceful purposes.' In the meantime, all of your smartest and most productive cows have moved to Los Angeles.

Liberal University Think Tank
You have two cows. You spend all of your time discussing 'the nature of cowness' and conclude that a cow is a 'construct' of the patriarchal and racist society that oppresses us all. While participating in the 'discourse' you neglected to feed your cows and both died. You blame George W. Bush.

Space Pragnatism is most clever here;

Space Cows

NASA
You have one cow.
The cow just runs around in circles in the field.
You miss your old cow.
You can't rely on any other farmers (because farming is just too hard)
You retire your cow, dig up your old cows bones and wrap it in new leather.

Alt Space
You have fifty cow designs
Any one of your cows would put out 50 times the milk of government cows
If only you had money...

(I admit they may be a bit arcane. But to somebody in the space business like me, and also a regular reader of space blogs, this is pretty hilarious. And ever so true.)

Capital Punishment

2006-01-20T00:37:00.000-06:00

Though capital punishment is very controversial, I think we can all agree with this:

[John Derbyshire]
I favor the death penalty, preferably by some slow, gruesome, and excruciating method, for the maufacturers and users of that type of padded envelope that, if you tear it open, showers you, your clothes, your furniture, and your lunchtime sandwich with fibrous gray stuffing. If anyone starts a petition, I'll sign it.

It is my taste that's bad?

2006-01-16T13:15:00.000-06:00

I just looked at Ebert & Roeper's worst of the year lists.

Ebert:
10. "Fantastic Four"

9. "Elektra"

8. "Undead"

7. "Constantine"

6. "Doom"

5. "Son of the Mask"

4. "D.E.B.S."

3. "Dirty Love"

2. "The Dukes of Hazzard"

1. "Deuce Bigalow: European
Gigolo"
Roeper:
10. "The Legend of Zorro"

9. "Bewitched"

8. "Guess Who?"

7. "The Man"

6. "Miss Congeniality 2: Armed
and Fabulous"

5. "Stealth"

4. "The Longest Yard"

3. "Monster-In-Law"

2. "Deuce Bigalow: European
Gigolo"

1. "The Dukes of Hazzard"

"Fantastic Four," "Constantine," "The Legend of Zorro," "Bewitched," "Guess Who?," and "Monster-In-Law" were all seen by the residents of Casa St. Onge, and at least mildly enjoyed. I wouldn't classify any as great cinematic art, but "Constantine" and "Bewitched" were good, in my arrogant opinion, "Guess Who?" was fair, and the others weren't terrible enough to be on a worst list, even if you didn't like them.

Sometimes, I think "critic" is a job that should have mandatory retirement after 10 years.

Bill Clinton & the Titanic

2006-01-16T11:52:00.000-06:00

Mr friend Frank Gasperik sent me this. It concerns the similarities between The Titanic movie and Bill Clinton's My Life.

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to watch
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent
catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent
catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a B---S---artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica is forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.

Weight Loss

2006-01-14T11:44:00.000-06:00

I'm down to to 280, from 465, which means I've lost about what I want my final goal weight to be.

One day, maybe next year, I'll be down to 185 or so. It's a long slog, but I keep at it. I wish I'd had this surgery years ago.

What's it like to be a writer?

2006-01-14T06:28:00.000-06:00

The following was posted on the Baen's Bar bulleting board by author John Ringo, who's struggling with writer's block at the moment:

So, for reasons found elsewhere, I've been looking at Con websites. And out of interest I scanned a couple of writer bios.

Now, I've seen a bunch of bios. "Peter Moviemaker was born in Detroit, MI in 1946, six months to the day after his Dad got back from four years overseas in the Big Red One. He's been in a hurry ever since..." But there seems to be a trend towards "chatty" bios. "Hi, I'm Alice Waterfeld. I'm sitting here on my porch writing this and thinking about the wonderful people who are reading about me and just thrilled to death to be talking to you through this medium..."

So the little voice started. Now, psychotics call this the "inner narrator" and when the inner narrator starts talking, the nice guys in white coats give them drugs. But I'm an author, so I call it the muse and people give me money instead of drugs...

So the inner narrator started telling me I should do a chatty bio, people seem to like that...

IN: "You should do a chatty bio. People seem to like that."

Real Me: "How do you know? I mean, they're on the website but that doesn't mean people like them. I was personally bored to tears. What's wrong with 250 words or less? Do I really have to know that their cat recently died of syphilis?"

IN: It's the thing, man, do a chatty bio.

RM: I don't know how. All I know is second person. "John Ringo was born in 1963 in "Miami-Dade" county."

IN: That's third person. And quit writing in declarative sentences all the time. You're trying to sound like Hemingway.

RM: What the fuck ever. Like I know that shit. Hell, if I don't know that shit, you don't know that shit, so shut the fuck up.

IN: Come on, do a chatty bio. I'll ask the questions and you give the answers. Here we go: So, John, where you from?

RM: No where. I've never lived anywhere long enough to be _from_ anywhere. You know that, why the stupid question?

IN: Feeling snippy today, are we?

RM: Of COURSE I'm feeling snippy! I keep asking you what the fuck happens next in Ghost IV and you keep asking me about "where are you from? Who influenced you in your writing? What is a word that rhymes with Orange?" Come on, dude, tell me what happens next in Ghost IV! I've got the computer right here! I can open the file in a second.

IN: No.

RM: What do you mean, "No?" We've got a deadline!

IN: I don't feel like writing today.

RM: So who's feeling snippy, then?

IN: I'm not feeling snippy, I just feel that the energies aren't aligned right. Your qua is all mixed up with your Fu.

RM: WHAT? What the fuck are qua and Fu? And why is one capitalized and the other isn't? Dude, I need stuff on the series. March, dude. More than a hundred thousand words. We. Are. Running. Out. Of. Time.

IN: Take a shower.

RM: I don't WANT to take a shower.

IN: Get something to eat. Take a shower. It will help you align your qua and your Fu. When your qua and your Fu are aligned, we'll talk.

RM: YOU'RE MAKING THIS SHIT UP AS YOU GO ALONG!!!

IN: (Puzzled voice) Of course I am. That's my job "dude."

RM: Oh, Christ. You're not going to give in, are you? Okay. Lunch it is. Chinese?

IN: Works. I wish they had delivery...

I have no idea why I posted this. But I thought you should know what is going on in my brain.

Now I know why I've never been able to write anything. I need to get my qua and Fu aligned.

Nothing Really Happening

2006-01-08T08:05:00.000-06:00

We had a Happy New Year, more or less, and we're both finally well. But other than that, nothing is really going on.

It's January, it's cold, it's gloomy. We haven't had a lot of snow yet (wait till March). Fortunately, I enjoy being bored.

I Thought the U.S. Had a Lock on the Weird TV Sweepstakes

2005-12-30T22:44:00.000-06:00

Wrong.

Hat tip: A close personal friend of mine.

Happy St. Stephen's Day to You All

2005-12-26T10:06:00.000-06:00

December 26th is the feast day of my namesake, St. Stephen, first martyr. I just thought I'd mention that.

And here's something from "Best of the Web Today" I thought you'd want to read, because it really clears things up:

"Wisconsin Study: Teens Play It Safe but Still Take Risks"--headline, WAOW-TV Web site (Wausau, Wis.), Dec. 21

As Taranto asks, "What Would Teens Do Without Wisconsin Studies?" Other notable headlines of the last week or two:

Thanks for the Tip!--XXVIII
"Health Tip: Teen Years Can Be Tough"--headline, HealthDayNews, Dec. 22

Give Me the Bad News First, Doc
"Study: Impotence Can Warn of Heart Disease"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 22

If They Don't Ail Him, What Does?
"Parole Board Denies Ailing Kevorkian"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 22

Shades of 'Soylent Green'
"Films Show Terrorists as People"--headline, USA Today, Dec. 21

That's One Talented Calf
"Moose Captured After Son Plays Saxophone"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 20

Next They'll Count Moose With Saxophones
"India to Count Tigers With Computers"--headline, Reuters, Dec. 21

That Explains Our Headache
"Researchers: Sweet Tooth May Be in Brain"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 20

Why the British Are Unlucky in Love
"Fewer Teeth May Mean More Heart Woes"--headline, HealthDayNews, Dec. 22

The First Thing We Do, Let's Kill All the Lawyers
"Lawyers: Don't Let Doctors Perform Executions"--headline, Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Dec. 21

And have a Happy Holiday Season, you all.

From a Bulletin Board I Read

2005-12-26T02:32:00.000-06:00

What happens when you:

1) have nothing to do

2) own a sharp knife

3) have a large lime

4) own a patient cat

5) drink too much tequila

6) and it's football season?

Answer below:

This.

Merry Christmas, you all.

2005-12-25T12:56:00.000-06:00

We here at St. Onge Manor are mostly spending it asleep, having been knocked for a loop by a cold bug. I'm mostly over it, K. is close to the trough. So we lie abed, and sleep.

But a life where the worst you can say is 'I've got a cold' is a marvel. I'm thankful for it.

Stephen

Things Happen

2005-12-19T10:53:00.000-06:00

The good news is, I'm finally getting over my cold. The bad news is that our satellite system is acting up, so I'll probably miss the Battlestar Galactica marathon tomorrow (technician comes on Wednesday). Otherwise, nothing much happening here in Minneapolis — except shivering.

Go See King Kong

2005-12-16T05:03:00.000-06:00

K. and I can sum it up by saying we aren't sure if this is the best picture of the year, or whether The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe beats it. There's really nothing much else to challenge Kong. I've reviewed it more thoroughly at Fat Steve's.

If you go the Internet Movie Data Base, you can find a list of the best films of 2005, as determined by the IMDB voters. Of those I've seen, I came up with the following list of "major league" movies of 2005: King Kong; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; Batman Begins; Serenity; March of the Penguins; Walk the Line; Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (though arguably, it isn't quite good enough for "the majors"); Mirrormask; and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Of them, Kong and Narnia are in the World Series, tied in the bottom of the ninth inning in game seven.

I saw and enjoyed Sin City and Star Wars III, but neither ranks with the films above. Corpse Bride isn't on the IDMB list, although perhaps it should have been. I haven't seen Murderball, Cinderella Man, Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, Mad Hot Ballroom, A History of Violence, or Pride and Predjudice, which are the only ones on the list that look like they might even be interesting, much less worthy of inclusion in my "major league" film list.

It is perhaps worth noting that of the "majors," none is rated R, and of those that missed the cut or weren't seen, only three of nine are. <sarcasm>We see here the terrible effects of censorship: when the movie maker isn't allowed to use the swearing and tit shots he wants to film, he's forced to replace it with inadequate substitutes like good writing, good plotting, good acting, and good directing. Any day now, we'll see the complete collapse of the film industry, replaced with propoganda for decency, justice and bravery, and lacking any redeeming qualities except artistic excellence</sarcasm>.

To repeat: go see Kong, Lion, and Walk if you haven't already. Great films.

Moderately Ill

2005-12-13T23:26:00.000-06:00

Me, that is. I have a cold and sore throat, and for the past few days have done as little as possible.

Tonite, it's going to snow several inches. If I can bear to do it, I'll shovel, and then, if I can bear to do it, we might go to the movies and see King Kong, which opens tomorrow.

Speaking of movies, K. and I, and our friends L. and T. saw The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe Saturday. Very good, though you may wish to buy tickets in advance. Half the shows at the theatre we went to were sold out. Excellent movie, highly recommended. But then, you've probably already seen it — last week, it earned more than all other movies listed at Box Office Mojo combined. I've got it up in Fat Steve's Archives, though as usual there's a ton of white space on top (Blogger doesn't like tables).

Stay well, and warm.

A Reminder

2005-12-10T01:14:00.000-06:00

On Friday, K. and I went to the Mall of America, to buy a present for a co-worker. It was a great reminder of why we hate the place.

The Disney story is on the south side of the Mall. But you basically can't park on the south side. There's a big sign, saying Mall of America, and a big entrance, but there's hardly any parking there. So, we tried, then we headed west, to the parking ramp.

There are two big parking ramps at the Mall of America, on the east and west sides. You can't, though drive in like a normal ramp and keep going till you find a space. No, you have to pick a level, drive into it, and then hope there's a space there. So we messed around on parking level three, then went up to level four, and finally found a parking space. From there, we walked south to an entrance and we were finally in the mall — on level three. The parking ramp levels don't correspond to the Mall's levels. Welcome to confusion.

So, now that we're there, we find the store on the map, and head over. That part, at least, didn't go so badly. After K. bought her presents, we looked for a restaurant. Ah, there's one on level two, south, that will do. But where is it? The maps only show the store locations for the level you're on, and while each store has a number, such as S255 (south side, level 2, store fifty five), the numbering system isn't consistent. In other words, the store directly under S255 will not be S155, it will be S187 or some such.

Well, we ate, and as we sat there K. marveled at the fact that the place is so popular. What can I say, but, my wife and I are weird.

But I tell you, we don't like the Mall, and we won't be going back there for another year or so. The rest of you are welcome to it.

Yesterday was Cold and Annoyingly Mystical

2005-12-04T07:06:00.000-06:00

K. and I took the Spring Forest Qigong™ class I've mentioned before. It continues to annoy my engineering mind by working well.

Otherwise, it was cold, and it snowed. Very light, big puffy flakes, so it was easy to clear.

Another half a day today. If you're interested, the Spring Forest Qigong site is supposed to be here, and if it's still down (as it was a few minutes ago), the Google cache had it here.

I have to get ready to leave now. Have a good day, stay warml.

A Good Day, if a Little Cold

2005-12-02T10:06:00.000-06:00

After dragging myself out of bed, I did the semi-daily exercise routine, and then a Chi Gong workout. That left me feeling better than when I'd just finished. Today, not yet, but I'll be doing it later. Tomorrow I may miss the workout. K. and I are going to a day-and-a-half long Chi Gong workshop, and I may not have the energy to exercise tomorrow night.

After yesterday's workout, I did some errands, then we went to the movies and saw Walk the Line. Consider this a rave review. I had no idea Reese Witherspoon could do drama. And Joaquin Phoenix just nails Johnny Cash. Ginnifer Goodwin, who plays Cash's first wife, Vivian, also does a great job.

K. doesn't like country music, so she was dubious, but afterwards, she said she was glad I'd persuaded her to see it, and she thought even the music was good. Witherspoon and Phoenix did their own lyrics, by the way, and they sang very well.

So go see it. And have a nice day.

Amazing

2005-11-30T14:26:00.000-06:00

It's been about a week, yet I'm still continuing the exercise routine every other day.

Of course, it's a flexible routine, do as much as I think I can of one of the exercises, no more, but it continues, and I feel fairly good.

Except for being a bit cold. It's frigid here in Mpls. Also a bit sore, but not nearly as bad as when I started.

Gee, I may actually keep this up.

Next, get the Chi Gong going at least evey other day.

Well, We Tried to See "Walk the Line."

2005-11-28T03:56:00.000-06:00

When we got to our usual theatre, the parking lot was nearly full, and "Walk" was sold out. So was "Goblet," which we might have been willing to see again. So we left.

Went to TGI Friday's for dinner, and split an appetizer. It tasted good going down, not so good coming up — I have got to learn to chew more thoroughly.

Sunday was pretty nice. I was still sore, but managed to work out some. At the moment, I don't feel as bad as I did Friday.

We'll see what comes up today. I'll do at least a light workout if I can.

Yesterday was Cold and Sore, Today is Just Sore

2005-11-26T07:35:00.000-06:00

Woke up in the middle of the night, stayed awake. K. came home, and said it was snowing pretty hard. "It's a winter wonderland." I replied that remarks like that were taking her life in her hands.

Two weeks ago, I said I was going to start an exercise program on the 13th. That night, I had a tremendous bellyache, and I decided to wait another day or two. After much procrastination, I did start the exercises yesterday. Since the exercises in question have a lot of squats and such, and since I still weigh 290, by the time I was finished, I could barely walk.

After resting a while, I took a shower, dressed, and went outside, "limping on both legs." I shoveled out the pad behind the garage (fortunately, it was very light and fluff, so I could use my push shovel), then K. and I were off to the barbers'. I was at least an inch overdue for a trim, but I procrastinate on haircuts too.

Then, to the pure hell feature of the day — shopping. K. had decided to buy me a new jacket for Xmas, me having lost 175 lbs. (oh, you should have seen the struggles last year, trying to get the seat belt of her car buckled over the gut and the coat; hilarious, in a pathetic way). I hadn't stopped to think that I was going into a clothing store with my dear, sweet, wonderful spouse. One jacket with hood, two pairs of pants, and six new shirts later (I managed to hold the line against new underwear), it was off to the library. I dropped off Zathura (if I see a movie and like it, I almost invariably read the book), was disgusted to learn that I had no books waiting, and then went for lunch — in my case, some chicken and wild rice soup. Headed for home, with a stop at Cub along the way (Cub's a discount grocer, cheapest prices in the Twin Cities I know of). Forgot to buy more yogurt, but got some soup and milk and ice cream (without ice cream, life has no meaning). Got home, shoveled the pad, behind the garage, the path to the back door, the path around the house, the walkway to the street, the sidewalk, and a good part of the lawn (the mailman cuts across the lawn, so I shovel the path from the house next door to ours to the next house; Lord knows we give him enough to carry that at least his footing should be secure). We'd had around two and a half inched total fall.

After my hands thawed (note to self, find gloves, put in new jacket's pockets), I ate desert, a piece of pumpkin creme pie (we'd lunched at Baker's Square®). Then I finished reading a book that had been hanging fire for a while (Bush vs. the Beltway, which I need as research for my Plamegate history over on Fat Steve's Blatherings). K., having been up all night, was asleep, so I joined her.

Another exciting day at chez St. Onge. I hope I can stand the excitement.

By the way, another hundred lbs. and I won't be fat anymore. So I'll need a new name for Fat Steve's Blatherings. Suggestions, anyone?

If I can work up the energy to stand, I'll try some chi qong exercise. Chi gong is mystical crap spiritual/psychic healing from China, and I wouldn't waste a split second on it if it weren't for the fact that it works. But it does, as I've proven to myself in the past. Embarrassing, for a hard head like me, but facts are facts. Later today, we'll go see Walk the Line, and perhaps stop at our local library branch to get a book I have waiting (not the library I went to yesterday, that's closed). May watch some TV, we're behind on Lost and Gilmore Girls. Otherwise, not much on the plate.

Hope you're doing well, all.

Damn, but it's COLD.

2005-11-24T01:46:00.000-06:00

I'm about ready to go into hibernation, here in the house.

Also very windy, which of course doesn't help.

Meanwhile, today is Thanksgiving, and I hope you all enjoy it. We here at St. Onge Manor will ignore it -- K. works tonite, and we've both had the stomach stapling operation, so it would be hard to do much of anything even if she were off.

Going to the Movie Tomorrow

2005-11-17T18:15:00.000-06:00

K. works tomorrow. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire opens tomorrow. Tomorrow opens at 12:00 AM. K.'s shift starts at 11:00 PM. So we'll see the first showing tomorrow, which is in five and three quarter hours. ;-D

Antsy Feelings

2005-11-16T01:36:00.000-06:00

I'm really twitchy and nervous tonite/this morning, for no reason I can see. I tried to sleep earlier, and couldn't, so here I am, doing late night blogging. I also still have the free floating anger I mentioned in yesterday's post. Why, I still can't imagine.

A day and a half ago, I mentioned a weather forecast, which said we'd get zero to eight inches of snow. Well, yesterday about 5:00 PM, it finally started to come down, initially as rain. For a while it didn't stick, but by 2:00 AM, there was maybe a half-inch of light stuff out there.

Later: spent the last few hours doing some cleaning, including ripping boxes apart. I feel much better now.

Still later, around noon: Going to try to sleep now. It's about 5°F outside. Thank God for electric blankets and central heating.

Bad Mood Rising

2005-11-15T04:45:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling a certain free-floating annoyance right now, and I've been this way all night long. I don't know why, though.

At least I'm OK physically. Saturday night, I had a tremendous stomach ache, to the point where I several times considered waking K. up and asking her to drive me to the hospital. No nausea, just pain. I was pretty well recovered the next day, though I have had occasional minor pain since.

First unexplainable pain, now unexplainable anger. What gives?

Taking a Bold Stand

2005-11-14T14:12:00.000-06:00

The weather people are predicting 0-8 inches of snow. Right this moment, it's 42° Farenheit, which means even if it snows, it won't stick — unless there's enough that it does.

On the other hand, it might rain; might not. Tomorrow, more of the same uncertainty.

Still, winter has begun. They're already distinguishing between temperature and chill factor in the forecasts.

What Happened to Autumn?

2005-11-12T15:41:00.000-06:00

It's cold in Minneapolis. Our highs are in the thirties to forties, and there's a chance of snow next week.

I used today to finish most yard work. I have one stubborn tree that still hasn't shed its leaves, but the rest are pretty bare. I mowed, then tied the safety handle down and let the mower run dry. The leaves were shoveled out of the alley into piles, and mostly bagged (it started to rain, and I left a couple bags piled). Tomorrow, I'll distribute them onto the flower beds, so that they'll be mulch rather than waste in a landfill.

The exercise of doing all that took a surprising amount of energy out of me, and left me rather sore, but not really bad. I've lost enough weight now that I don't feel tired just moving around (try carrying a 'pack' of 170 lbs, and see how YOU feel). Tomorrow, I also start an exercise program I've been planning a while.

Normally, K. and I would have gone to the movies today, but I was tired enough to not want to. K. has tomorrow off, so we'll go then, and see Zathura. Yesterday, we went to see Chicken Little, which I enjoyed, but am not gigantically enthusiastic about. Still, I did enjoy it, and recommend it for children and those like K. and I, who enjoy good kids' movies.

Hope you're doing well.

Vodkalanche!

2005-11-12T02:05:00.000-06:00

Steve Green at VodkaPundit linked to FatSteve's Blatherings, and called my post "fascinating stuff."

That feels good. Thanks again, Mr. Green.

What IS It With Bill?

2005-11-07T10:24:00.000-06:00

OK, I can understand Bubba not being able to keep his hands of the ladies, buy now, even his portrait is engaged in groping young girls!

Click For Source URL, or to Leave a Comment at Flickr.

WHOOPEE!

2005-11-07T00:10:00.000-06:00

I just weighed myself, and I'm down to 290 lbs!

It's probably been fifteen to twenty years since I've weighed less than 300.

Thank you, Jesus, for bariatric surgery.

I can't believe how light on my feet I'm starting to feel.

If you, too, have a persistent problem with morbid obesity, I really suggest you look into this possibility.

Somewhat sick

2005-11-05T07:04:00.000-06:00

That's how I've been the past few days, with several bouts of nausea and vomiting. Which is a large part of why I haven't been posting much of anything.

Will someone please strangle the person who's laughing and saying, 'Yeah, and your natural laziness had nothing to do with it, right?' Wait, that's my wife. "Never mind!"

Truly, I was ill, but laziness was probably the larger factor. The Seasonal Affective Disorder played a role too. But still, pure laziness was probably the main culprit.

Amusing

2005-10-26T11:54:00.000-05:00

A few minutes ago, I tried to leave a comment on a blog, and it got spam filtered.

The thought that my ideas and way of expressing them are that common is a hoot.

I Win!

2005-10-23T19:53:00.000-05:00

It was down to 64 degrees in here, and I've been huddling under the covers. A few minutes ago, K. wimped out and turned on the heat.

Well, actually, she said she'd quit if I would, but my answer was a laugh, so technically she gave up first!

A frightening thought: in five months, I'll look on an inside temperature of 64 degrees as reasonable, rather than frigid.

A Fairly Pleasant Week

2005-10-21T23:57:00.000-05:00

K. had the week off, using up some vacation she'd otherwise lose. We spent it in out typically athletic style, that is, going to the movies, and watching TV.

We saw Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit last Saturday. Capsule review: hilarious, go see.

On Monday, Mirrormask, a new film with a script by Neil Gaiman. Try to imagine Alice in Wonderland updated by Salvador Dali, with help from H. P. Lovecraft, and some dialogue by Monty Python. Well, that's still not it, but it's in the neighborhood. Recommended, for those who like weird movies (was it all a dream? was it real? or, like Lovecraft's The Dream Quest of Unknown Kaddath, is it both? Beats me).

We spent the TV time catching up on Battlestar Galactica (I never saw the original series, but the current one very good science fiction), Gilmore Girls (long one of our favorite series), and Lost. We missed most of the series last year, but what we saw of it was good enough that we bought the DVDs. We caught up on them, then watched the others off Tivo, except for one that didn't record (one of the nights it was raining really heavily, I expect. The first episode of the new season, but it will repeat Wednesday). There's still a disc full of extras to watch.

Heavy rain is the bane of satellite TV. If I lived in Portland or Seattle, I doubt I'd have it, but in Minneapolis, it's only occasionally enough to knock out reception. And it's far better than the limited channel selection, high fees, and lousy service of our local cable monopoly.

Weather was nice till yesterday, but the last two days it's been cold and dreary. If it doesn't rain tonite, I'll mow the lawn tomorrow.

Otherwise, nothing much to report. I still sometimes have trouble with solid food, but not as much as I used to. Otherwise, all good. Thanks for dropping by.

Too Good to Last

2005-10-13T20:45:00.000-05:00

The weather, I mean. It rained again yesterday, and this morning before dawn. Ah well, it saves me watering the plants.

One of the things that shows how weird I am: I've never gotten the 'Walk/bike ride/whatever for a [insert alleged good cause] here.' You want money for a good cause? Well, instead of sponsoring you, why don't I just give the money to the cause, and you can stay home? Or, if you feel like jogging, do it on your own time?

I really don't get the whole idea, yet it's extraordinarily popular and effective. Can someone explain this to me?

Meanwhile, I'll donate to the cause of good movies, by going to see Wallace and Gromit: the Curse of the Were Rabbit tomorrow or Saturday.

Wow, a Miracle!

2005-10-12T21:15:00.000-05:00

We went a whole week without rain. I even managed to get the grass cut (and boy, how I LOVE my new, self-propelled power mower).

But the clear weather was too good to last, and it rained today. Still, it has been nice, compared to the September and it's thunderstorms and humidity. If I work up the ambition, I'll go get a slew of tulip bulbs, and plant them near out back door.

It's also turned quite cool. Instead of sitting around with the air conditioning on, we put the electric blanket back on the bed, and are playing the game of "Who'll crack first on the heating?" chicken. But cool isn't frigid, the way it will be in three months, so I'm not complaining, just observing.

My big problem at the moment is what to get for a birthday present for a friend. Compared to Pakistan, whose big problem is murderers and earthquakes, it reminds me how blessed we USAmericans are. What a wonderful time, in such a wonderful country.

Stay warm and well, friends.

OOPS!, or Update to the Sudoku Challenge

2005-10-07T20:19:00.000-05:00

Well what do you know, one of my readers tried it, and it was easy. That's because I left a number out of the grid, making many solutions possible. You should have taken me up on it.

So, I now have the correct grid up, if any of you want to try the real monster. Interesting, what the absence of one little "7" can do . . .

If you go over here, you'll see a photo posted. The left section is the Sudoku grid as given in the paper (the little underlines are to distinguish the nunbers given from later conclusions). In the middle, the Sudoku grid I work from, with the givens alone in their squares, and the rest filled with the numbers one through nine. On the right, a copy of the middle grid, with the ones replaced by spaces where a one is impossible, because of the ones already given rule them out.

As I said in the original:

Underneath the picture are the three Sudoku grids you see with number signs as spacers. If you're fool enough to accept this challenge, highlight and copy the html grids, copy, paste them into a word processor (notepad's fine for Windows users, I don't know what Linux or Mac users have available, or even if any of you are Linux or Mac Users), set the font to equal spacing for all characters, note the time, and proceed to beat your head against the wall on this. The way I would do it is to go through a grid, using search and replace to put spaces where a 2 through 9 is impossible, then work on that grid. I advise you to make lots of copies as you go, and save them in a document you're NOT working on, so if (when) you make a mistake, you can go back to one that's believed to be good.

Afterwards, let me know how much time it took you to finish it, and how many times you had to start over.

Strange Mysteries of the St. Onge Household

2005-10-06T06:06:00.000-05:00

I woke up a few minutes ago, and my clock was blinking, which is what it does when it has been without power. Yet all the other clocks in the house, and the answering machine, are chugging right along. How do you lost power to one outlet, then get it back?

In other mysteries, it's after 6:00 Eastern, but Glenn Reynolds hasn't posted anything at Instapundit. Have I wandered into an alternate universe?

Nearly Flooded Out

2005-10-05T23:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, there was an errand I had to do in Apple Valley (a suburb south of Minneapolis, on the other side of the Minnesota River), and so I went out in the rain to do it.

And then it rained harder, and harder, and harder . . .
In my entire life, I've only seen it come down that way once before. Some years ago, we got an inch per hour for seven hours straight. This was just as hard. And that time, I was inside.

When I finally got to Apple Valley, driving slowly (even with the wipers on high, I only got glimpses of the road), and I'd done what I had to do I pulled into a restaurant and spent about an hour, waiting. The rain never stopped, but eventually, it let up.

Back into the car, and north to home. As I was approaching the freeway interchange, a traffic condition sign said the freeway I intended to take was closed due to flooding. I took Nicollet Avenue northbound, which runs parallel to I35-W, and between 48th and 47th Streets, I came upon a puddle a half a block long, and four inches or more deep. One car was already stalled out in it, and others were turning around to avoid it. Eventually, I got up to the edge, and went through very, very, very slowly, to avoid splashing water up onto something that would short out my electrical system.

After that, it wasn't bad, or long till home, but it was a nerve-wracking night, and I thought I'd record it.

A Confession, a Warning, and a Challenge/Act of Meaness

2005-10-05T17:56:00.000-05:00

Hello again, faithful few. I would like to begin this post with a bit of a confession and explanation.

I am not a nice guy. I do have my easy going, helpful side, I have learned to fake being a nice guy very well, but at the core, I am a mean and nasty bastard. There was a time when this bothered me, and really bothered my subconscious (it's scared of what I might do, if I let the pure nastiness flow unchecked), but I've pretty much accepted who I am.

Well, today, I'm feeling fairly ticked off, and I am going to inflict my nastiness on you, lacking anyone else to take it out on. You will get one chance to dodge it.

I am going to post the Sudoku puzzle from yesterday's Star Tribune. It's labeled as only two out of five stars, but in reality it is a triple distilled bastard (this is the judgment of myself and two others, who all solved it — eventually. Very eventually, in fact). I doing so in the expectation that some of you will attempt it. Why shouldn't you suffer too?

If you have any sense, you won't touch this with an eleven foot Ukranian.

If you go over here, you'll see a photo posted. The left section is the Sudoku grid as given in the paper (the little underlines are to distinguish the nunbers given from later conclusions). In the middle, the Sudoku grid I work from, with the givens alone in their squares, and the rest filled with the numbers one through nine. On the right, a copy of the middle grid, with the ones replaced by spaces where a one is impossible, because of the ones already given rule them out.

Underneath the picture are the three Sudoku grids you see with number signs as spacers. If you're fool enough to accept this challenge, highlight and copy the html grids, copy, paste them into a word processor (notepad's fine for Windows users, I don't know what Linux or Mac users have available, or even if any of you are Linux or Mac Users), set the font to equal spacing for all characters, note the time, and proceed to beat your head against the wall on this. The way I would do it is to go through a grid, using search and replace to put spaces where a 2 through 9 is impossible, then work on that grid. I advise you to make lots of copies as you go, and save them in a document you're NOT working on, so if (when) you make a mistake, you can go back to one that's believed to be good.

The photo, by the way, is a screen shot of notepads. The people who run Blogger.com, not caring what the customers might want, have decided to use a proportionally spaced font. They've also decided to make every post on a blog work off a template, the same template for all the blog's posts. So, if I found a way to make the font equally spaced throughout, I'd end up using that font for all posts on this blog. Thanks, guys.

Afterwards, let me know how much time it took you to finish it, and how many times you had to start over.

Final warning: if you're smart, you won't even try. Of course, I'm counting on one of you not being smart, and being unable to resist the challenge. . . .

;-D

A Very Wet Day

2005-10-04T15:36:00.000-05:00

I woke up to hear rain just pouring outside, and when K. got home, she told me there were flash flood warnings in effect.

So, alas, I missed the chance to mow the lawn.

Meanwhile, I've been blogging a lot at Fat Steve's about the Harriet Miers nomination. Something about this has caused the blogosphere to bloviate harder than usual, and I'm no exception to the urge.

Going out soon, otherwise nothing happening.

A Nice Weekend

2005-10-03T02:10:00.000-05:00

On Friday, K. and I went to the movies and saw Tim Burton's film The Corpse Bride. Not exactly a great movie, but an enjoyable one.

Saturday, we went to the movies with friends, and saw Serenity again. K. enjoyed it, despite not being familiar with the series. Our friends L. and T. both are Firefly fans, and enjoyed the film immensely. I enjoyed it as much the second time as the first.

Sunday, we laid around idly in the morning, while I wasted time on Sudoku. K.'s off again Wednesday and Thursday, so we'll probably watch Lost and Firefly videos then.

If the grass is dry enough, I'll cut it today. Otherwise, not much going on at Casa St. Onge,

More Rain

2005-09-29T05:50:00.000-05:00

I swear, I intended to cut the grass, but . . .

It's also become cold and generally depressing. Otherwise, things are going fairly well.

Glenn Reynolds has lots of links to reviews of Serenity, here and here. I read them, and the ones that they linked to, and every one was positive. We're talking blockbuster movie here. Groovy.

The "Firefly" Movie

2005-09-28T13:25:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned last week, I signed up for a free admission to Josh Whedon's new film Serenity, in return for posting about it. Last night was the night, so I hied myself over to Roseville for the flick.

I cut my departure a little close, and was afraid I'd miss the start of the movie, but I got to the theatre in time. Once there, I went into the mall, and passed a couple leaving. The man said 'If you're here for Serenity, it's sold out.' I refrained from pointing out that I wasn't going to buy a ticket anyway.

So, into the theatre complex, up to the ticket taker, and say 'I'm on the Press List for Serenity.' Small hitch: the ticket taker couldn't let me in, he had to wait for Universal's publicity guy to come back. Publicity guy showed up a minute or two later (while I got antsy over the movie starting while I stood there), and checked his list. I WASN'T ON IT! That was a major hitch, but he almost immediately waved me in anyway (note to self: next time, do NOT use real last name).

Into the theatre, which is packed. Now, where can I find a seat? I ended up way in the back, which I wanted, and off to the side, which I didn't want. These were normal movie seats, rather than stadium seats, but I fit into them comfortably (a year and 130 pounds ago, I wouldn't have been able to sit there at all. Literally, my butt was too wide to squeeze between the armrests).

The movie hadn't started, and we were treated to a rendition of "The Man They Call Jayne," by one of the fans (that's a song from the Firefly series.) There were people there from radio station KDWB, and TV channel 45, and they gave out freebies. A few stragglers wandered in (I ended up with people on both sides of me, no spaces at all; been a while since that happened), and finally, the lights dimmed.

It was the preview for DOOM, a movie based on a shoot-them-up video game, and it looked like a bomb. Then came Serenity, and it was very good.

Since I promised to post on the movie, I wrote a review over at Fat Steve's Blatherings. I'm going to crosspost it here.

From Fat Steve's Blatherings:

Serenity

Summary:

Joss Whedon's new movie Serenity opens Friday. I saw it last night, and thought it was a very good film, four stars out of five. I expect I'll pay to see it again Friday or Saturday.
Serenity is based on the late TV series, Firefly, and stars the original cast of the show.

Whedon employs the same mixture of strengths that made Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel two of the all-time great television series. The film has action, humor, and mystery, all blended very well. The technical aspects are excellent, with one exception noted below.

Alas, Whedon uses the idiotic shaking camera technique again, courting nausea among the audience. People like me had better sit in the back.

The movie turns dark and bloody in the last third. I found it that part very satisfactory, but be prepared for a large body count.

But Whedon never loses sight of the moral issues he dealt with in Buffy, Angel, and Firefly, and manages to deliver a message that's also crackling good entertainment.

Overall, this film "big hit" written all over it. I think it deserves the success I expect.

At Length:

Screenwriter/director Joss Whedon has had really bizarre luck with movies and TV shows. In 1992, a film titled Buffy the Vampire Slayer hit the theatres. BtVS was Whedon's idea, story, and screenplay, but the studio and/or the director insisted on messing up the execution, and the result was a mediocre film — though I must admit, I enjoyed it.

Yet somehow, in 1996, Whedon persuaded the WB to turn that mediocre movie into a television series. During the next five years, it was, in my arrogant opinion, the best show on television, indeed the best TV show EVER. Buffy ran seven seasons, and spawned a high quality spin-off in Angel, which was very good and ran five seasons itself.

The reason those shows were so good? Excellent writing, Whedon's skill in developing season long story arcs while creating episodes that stood on their own, a nicely balanced mixture of comedy and drama, great action sequences, marvelous humor, great casts who always turned in fine performances, wonderful sets, lighting, and special effects, and uniquely, a willingness to tackle important subjects. Buffy and Angel dealt with the nature of good and evil, duty, courage, sacrifice, loss, human weakness, human strength, betrayal, bigotry, and honor, all without being preachy, dull, or simplistic.

One other special feature of Buffy and Angel should also be mentioned, though not everyone liked it. Whedon wasn't afraid to kill sympathetic innocents and continuing characters, even series regulars. At least three died in the first season of Buffy, and the fatalities continued throughout both series. Any character could die, and it made both the fear and the courage of the heroes more pointed.

In 1992, Whedon persuaded the Fox network to air a new series of his, Firefly. Firefly was to be a combination of science fiction, western, and thriller. Considering Whedon's record, you'd have thought that Fox would have refrained from interfering with him, but NO!, they just had to muck it up — they refused to open with a two-hour pilot that was already shot (it ended up being the last show ever broadcast), showed the one-hour stories out of the order that Whedon had intended, pre-empted the show frequently, and never broadcast three already filmed episodes. Then, having ensured a small audience, Fox cancelled it.

But in 2003 the DVD of the series came out, with all the episodes available, and in the order Whedon had intended. It made much more sense this way, and sales were very high. And somehow, Whedon repeated the BtVS trick in reverse — he talked Universal studios into making a feature film out of his failed TV series, using the show's original cast.

The film's title is Serenity. I saw it last night, and really liked it. So much so that I expect I'll see it again over the weekend, with my wife and some friends.

SOME BACKGROUND FROM THE SERIES
Earth is no longer inhabited (why, Whedon never revealed, but planet Earth was invariably referred to as "Earth that was,"). Mankind managed to spread to the stars, and terraformed numerous planets and moons. Some colonies ("the Core Worlds") became rich, powerful, and smugly certain of their superiority. Other places were primitive and brutal, and there were all stages of development in between. Eventually, the two biggest factions among the Core Worlds decided that, for its own good, humanity should be united under one government, and formed "the Alliance", intending to civilize the barbarians (the main powers in the Alliance apparently spoke English or Mandarin as their main language; the result is that both languages are seen and heard everywhere in the series, and the crew of Serenity curses in Chinese). While many people and planetary governments thought the Alliance was a great idea, others fought unification, with the rebel troops being known as "Browncoats" (there are conscious parallels with the USAmerican Civil War here). Two of the Browncoats were Sgt. Malcolm "Mal" Reynolds and Zoe Last-Name-and-Rank-Unknown. They were among those who kept fighting long after defeat was certain, till the resistance on their planet was crushed at the Battle of Serenity Valley.

After the War, Mal and Zoe stayed together as partners trying to scrape a living "out in the black," the fringe area of human colonization, where the Alliance's control is still weak, where the Alliances "civilizing mission" isn't doing much, and where violent psychotics called "Reivers" periodically raid frontier settlements (in the pilot, the Reivers are described as raping to death anyone they capture alive; eating the captives' flesh; and using the captives' skin for clothing -- but usually not in that order). Somehow, Mal found the money to buy and repair a used, broken down freight hauling spaceship, a "Firefly" model, which he named Serenity as a token of his continuing defiance of the Alliance. Mal and Zoe recruited Hoban "Wash" Washburne, a pilot whom Zoe ended up marrying; Kaywinnit Lee "Kaylee" Frye, a mechanic/engineer; and Jayne Cobb, a fairly tough and unscrupulous man who's an expert shot and all around crook. Mal also rented one of the ship's two shuttles to Inara Serra, a member of the courtesan's guild, and thus a prosperous and highly respectable member of Alliance society (which brings up the question of why she'd want to go anywhere on a ship like Serenity, much less away from the Core Worlds and "into the black"; Whedon let it be known that she had a reason, but hadn't revealed it at series end). When Serenity arrived somewhere, Inara would fly off her shuttle and conduct business. Mal and Inara were highly attracted to each other, but they won't admit it to themselves act on it (Mal because he disapproves of Inara's profession, or at least her practicing it; Inara because of Mal's attitudes, rude behavior, and her desire to keep their relationship on a business footing).

With Inara providing some steady income and respectability, Mal and crew set off to move freight, carry passengers, smuggle, hire out as gunmen, and heist things that weren't nailed down. Mal and Zoe never were reconciled to the Alliance's victory, and operating outside the law appealed to Mal's continuing idealistic/romantic streak — though those same emotions sometimes led him to turn down profitable jobs, play Robin Hood, or otherwise get into trouble. In the two hour pilot, they picked up three semi-passengers, semi-crew members: Book, a "Shepard," or traveling priest/monk who knows a suspicious amount about armaments; Simon Tam, a brilliant young surgeon; and River Tam, Simon's little sister, a super-genius seventeen-year-old psychotic.

River was in some ways the key character of the series. A child prodigy, the teenaged River was lured to a "school" where she could supposedly develop her talents to their full extent. In reality, it was a secret Alliance research facility where surgery was performed on the "students'" brains, various horrible psychological conditioning was performed, and skills the Alliance would find useful were imparted. In particular, the Alliance made River a super-humanly capable fighter and marksman. They also managed to give her psychic abilities, or develop a pre-existing potential, something they may also have done with some or all of their other victims. Why they were doing all this wasn't totally clear, but it did become obvious that River and the others were at least partly intended as covert agents, spies, and assassins.

Fortunately for River, brother Simon grew suspicious. He noticed that the phrasing in her letters home seemed wrong, that she referred to things that had never happened, and that words were misspelled (River had started correcting his spelling when she was three). Convinced that his sister was trying to send him coded messages, he eventually managed to get intelligence on the "school" and mount a rescue operation. As the pilot opened, he and River were on the run, and Alliance agents were both trying to recapture River, and killing people she and Simon had been in contact with. Mal allowed the Tams on Serenity both because he hates the Alliance, and because his crew gets wounded often enough to need a surgeon aboard. But as the series developed, there was increasing fear that River might be a danger to the others aboard ship. Also, Inara finally admitted her feeling concerning Mal to herself, and decided to leave the Serenity. For the rest of the series's events, watch the DVDs.

THE NEW FILM
The movie opens with a flashback: River is in the experimental facility/prison, and Simon breaks her out. An anonymous Operative of the Alliance Parliament shows up, and reviews the records of the escape. It becomes clear that one of the reasons the Alliance government wants River so badly, and kills those she's talked to, is her psychic ability. Various high level members of Parliament foolishly toured the facility while she was there. They knew things that the Alliance is desperate to keep secret, and they fear River will reveal them.

The Operative would have fit in well with Felix Dzerzhinsky's CheKA. He is, in his own words, a monster, but a monster with a faith and a cause. Someday, the Alliance will bring about a civilization without evil, and he will do anything to help that along.

Meanwhile, out on the edge of the Alliance, Mel and his crew are pulling a payroll robbery. When he involves River, Simon gets angry and decides he and his sister will leave Serenity, but no sooner do they split than River happens to look at a television in a bar, and becomes fixated. She utters the word "Miranda," then suddenly attacks the patrons and staff indiscriminately, leaving almost everyone dead or unconscious before Simon manages to stop her. Mal happens to be in the bar, and takes the Tams back to Serenity and tries to find out what happened. He soon learns it was a trick — the Operative caused the television to display subliminal messages that triggered River's "lethal weapon" mode, but in places where there was a security camera. Now the Operative knows who's been helping River and Simon. The rest of the film is a fairly straightforward scifi/action plot, with the Operative doing anything he can to get River, and Mal and crew trying to dodge the Operative, figure out what's going on, and resolve the situation once and for all. I thought it all worked very well.

I won't give any more of the story, not wanting to spoil it for anyone, though I will mention we learn more about the Reivers, whose history and habitss turn out to be highly relevant. As mentioned above the movie has Whedon's characteristic virtues. The screeplay's well written, there's a good deal of verbal and physical humor (the audience frequently laughed out loud), the action sequences are exciting, the acting is first rate, and the design and lighting are excellent. But Serenity also has Whedon's habit of knocking off good guys and innocents. The film becomes somewhat dark in the last third, and horrible things happen to characters who don't deserve it. The bodies really pile up. I found the climax satisfying and fitting, but don't expect a Star Trek finish where everyone important either lives, or will be brought back to life in the next flick. The characters who died in this movie are staying dead.

Whedon also retains his strong moral commitments. The Operative is fighting for his cause, and Serenity's crew end up fighting for against it. It's clear which side Joss Whedon favors, but he doesn't make the Operative's side a caricature. Instead, Whedon addresses basic questions of morality and human society, all while being marvelously entertaining.

Well, that's what's right with Serenity. What's wrong with it? The camerawork. Whedon is one of these people who believes that if you shoot with a handheld camera, and don't use the steadycam, it gives the work the feel of a documentary, or an improvisation, or something assembled from "found footage" taken by a non-professional. He used the technique in the TV series, and he uses it here.

Whedon is wrong. The lighting, the camera angles, the seamless integration of story with shots, the costumes, the effects — there has never been a documentary, improvisation, or "found footage" work that looks like this, and there never will be. What the film looks like is a highly professional, thoroughly scripted movie, made by a director with pretensions.

Now, shaky camera work on the big screen can make me vomit, and I've walked out of more than one movie because of this nonsense. I wish Whedon hadn't done it. Fortunately, he didn't indulge in it too often or too violently, and I had a seat in the rear (a suggestion from my friend A., who has the same problem). I managed to endure it fairly well, but if you're sensitive to this too, be warned. And I hope you'll write the studio, producers, and directors of any similar film, and complain. This idiocy needs to be stamped out.

Having gotten that off my chest, I don't have much else in the way of complaints. I was surprised that Shepard Book wasn't on the ship when the film started, since he was when the series ended. There were a couple of places where someone did something slightly stupid as a plot requirement, but not often, and not terribly stupid (still, if [deleted] had made sure [deleted]was dead, things would have developed much more happily. Overall, the film is excellent, and I give it four stars out of a possible five. If Whedon had used a steadycam, I'd add the at least another half star. I suspect that if you don't enjoy this flick, you dislike all action films. I'm certain Serenity will do a big box office, and in my opinion, it deserves to.

And I'm looking forward to Serenity Two.

And I'd like to thank Universal, both for making the movie, and giving me a chance to sample it for free. I hope this free tickets for bloggers idea spreads!!

Well, this should be interesting

2005-09-23T01:17:00.000-05:00

Joss Whedon's movie Serenity, based on his cancelled TV series Firefly, opens next Friday. I just promoted myself a place on the press list, so I can see it for free next Tuesday, the 27th. In return, I have to blog about it.

My big concern about the film is that Whedon would use the hand-held jerky camera style he used on the series. I can't watch movies like that. My old girlfriend A., who has the same problem, suggests sitting way in the back, but my wife K. likes to sit fairly close. So, this will give me a chance to see the movie, and if I can stand it at all, and K. wants to go, I'll go see it with her again.

Tune in to Fat Steve's Blatherings next Tuesday to find out whether I was able to watch the film at all, and if so, what I thought of it (I did like the TV show).

Medical Weirdness at Casa St. Onge

2005-09-23T00:55:00.000-05:00

It started last night. I was sitting on the couch with my laptop, and a really intense pain gradually developed in my left side. I took some ibuprofen, and went to sleep, and felt much better when I woke up. But now, it's bugging me again. ???? Why would sitting on the couch bother my side? Did I pull a muscle? If so, how? But I can't think of anything else consistent with this case history. What's going on here?

It's Raining AGAIN

2005-09-21T19:24:00.000-05:00

Has been for about an hour. Less yard work for me, but eventually the grass will get annoyingly long . . .

A Nice Day for Library Visiting

2005-09-21T17:15:00.000-05:00

It's still raining fairly frequently in Minneapolis. Ever time I get ready to water the plants, it's rains a day or so before, so I haven't had to do it for a month. *SIGH*, I was so looking forward to cutting the grass again today . . .

It's K.'s day off, so we went to the library, and ate afterwards at Baker's Square. Using EXTREME care, I managed to eat a small piece of chicken breast without nausea (if you took the skin off a chicken leg, the piece I ate weigh as much as maybe a third to a half of the leg meat). I also had a piece of Oreo pie (very crumbly, prevents nausea), and some iced tea. Back home now, thanking God for creating air conditioning.

Manipulated K. into doing a Sudoku game this morning. 'Why shouldn't she suffer like I suffer?', that's what I say. Besides, she's the rat-bastid who introduced me to it.

If you like fantasy, I strongly recommend Princess of Wands, by John Ringo. The hardcover will come out late December, early January, $25.00 list, $16.50 from Amazon.

Not sure you'd like it, or want to spend that much? Check the free sample chapters here.

If you'd prefer an electronic version to a dead tree one, it will be probably be $6.00 in January, and since this a BAEN e-book, you can download multiple copies, in multiple formats, to multiple machines, and precisely none of them are encrypted, or expire after X months, or any of the rest of the nonsense most publishers engage in. Jim Baen has these two crazy ideas, the first being the most people are honest and won't redistribute his books if he treats them fairly; the second crazy idea is that anyone who steals it anyway wouldn't have bought it in the first place.

Oh, if, after reading the eight free chapters, you decide you Must have it NOW, Princess of Wands is available as an electronic book Advanced Reader Copy for $15.00, gradually declining to $6.00 or so when the hardcover hits the stores. An ARC is a copy of a book that hasn't been proofed or checked for continuity errors, distributed to bookstores, reviewers, etc., in advance of publication. I'll wait for the dead-tree version, because I'll want to loan it to K. and others, because the cover looks nice, and because I believe that the book will have CD-ROM in it, also non-copy protected, containing other Baen books (Baen has done this before). Of course you're on your honor never to copy the CD . . . wait, I forgot, you may copy it all you want, just copy the complete contents, and don't sell it. Give away one to every person on earth if you want (no, I'm not kidding).

Stay well, faithful few.

Anyhow, I've read the sample chapters, and I liked them a lot. Ringo is on my short list of authors who I buy whatever they publish, without questions, but even if I'd never heard of him before, I'd buy this.

This Blog's Readership Has Lept Up!

2005-09-18T22:13:00.000-05:00

In other words, it's now averaging three readers per day, instead of two.

While I'm here, I might as well tell you I've discovered a great new way to waste time, called "Sudoku." This is a game where you have a large square, subdivided into three intermediate sized squares, which are further divided into nine small squares each, making 81 squares total, in a nine by nine square (I have a couple of pictures here. You could also visit the Sudoku website).

Anyhow, you get the Sudoku grid with some of the squares already filled in with numbers from one through nine, as the picture referenced above shows. The aim is to fill the grid in, so that you have one of each number in each row, in each column, and in each intermediate square. This takes an hour or two for me, when dealing with one of the more difficult puzzles.

I got started on this when my wife mentioned it to me, and just recently our local excuse for a newspaper, which was already running it in the paper, started putting it online as well, at this URL. I strongly recommend you stay away from this temporal black hole.

Oh, it finally stopped raining for a few days, and I got the grass cut. I was amazed how quickly the new self-propelled power mower got through the stuff. It's a Briggs & Stratton we bought at Sears, and I'm very satisfied.

Have a nice week, all.

She Got Me!

2005-09-10T04:52:00.000-05:00

My dear sweet wonderful wife, who I am considering strangling, was talking with me about my blogs. I mentioned that I'd referred on Fat Steve's Blatherings to those "hungering for further pearls of my ineffable wisdom".

"Oh," she offered, "I think your wisdom is definitely 'effable.'"

Worse she was correct.

Moral: think twice before you marry a sarcastic grammar-and-usage-snob.

6:15 CDT, Raining AGAIN

2005-09-08T06:16:00.000-05:00

More Changeable Weather

2005-09-08T04:27:00.000-05:00

In the morning, cold, with a lot of rain and thunder. The afternoon warmed up, and it was fine.

I went by the hospital for a routine post-op check, and I weighed 326 on the scale there. That was with clothes and shoes on.

Later, lunch, a bite to much, puke. GRRRR.

Nothing really on the schedule today. Friday, K. and I will go to a Chi Gong exercise class lasting all day.

Stay well.

"If You Don't Like the Weather, Wait a Minute"

2005-09-06T08:30:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend, it was rain, rain, rain. Then, yesterday, Labor Day, it was hot, sunny, and humid. Kaye and I went looking at cars (we liked the Saturn Ion Quad a lot; the Toyota Matrix was OK, but had a bit less leg room; the Toyota Prius was on a waiting list of six months, so we couldn't even look and sit in one). After the car shopping, to Applebee's for a veggie pizza (K.), onion soup (moi, and iced tea. Afterwards, we watched Monk on the Tivo.

That was yesterday. This morning about 2:00 AM, another thunderstorm. Now it's sunny again.

Meanwhile, I sit here inside, blogging. If the grass ever dries out, I'll cut it, with our nifty new power mower. And as soon as I catch up on my blathering and TV, and I have a new science fiction novel by David Weber to finish (Old Soldiers, Baen Books, available on dead trees or electronically with no damn-fool copy protection and unlimited downloads; Jim Baen trusts you not to rip him and his authors off).

So, busy me. Hope things are going well for the two of you who stop by daily, and the half-dozen I mail this too.

Rain

2005-09-04T06:28:00.000-05:00

It's pouring right now. It's been raining off and on all night. Depressing. Could the remnants of Katrina have reached this far north?

Still Puking After All These Months

2005-09-03T20:18:00.000-05:00

I had a lovely time on the North Shore, and it's been pretty good since we got back. Of course, there were the previously mentioned computer troubles, but those are more or less fixed (still have some software re-installing to do).

The last few days, the weather has been nasty. Raining right now, for the third day in a row. That's probably discouraged attendance at the MN State Fair, but since we didn't plan on going anyway, big deal. Otherwise, no particular complaints.

My weight was down to 230 a few days ago, from 245 the last time I weighed myself [CORRECTION: I was down to 330, from 345. My thanks to my one time girlfriend and still friend A. for catching the error.]. So, even though I still can't handle chicken, and even though I ate too much twice on our vacation, and twice since coming home (and when I do that, I worship at the shrine of the pocelain god), I have no serious complaints about the my vertical banded gastroplasty. Every time I stand up, and lift 135 pounds less than I used to, my knees thank me.

UPDATE, 9/7: 325 today at the hospital, with my shoes and clothes on.

On the 'To Do' list: buy emergency generator, stock up two weeks worth of storable food and water for Kaye and I. I should have done this years ago, especially after we were without power for a week, but after Katrina I definately will do it now. Of course, first I have to make room in the basement for it . . .

Unpleasant as that job will be, going up the basement steps is much easier, now that I weigh less, so I WILL do it.

Hope you're both well, daily visitors.

Give For Katrina Recovery

2005-09-03T19:34:00.000-05:00

Last night, K. looked at her check book, and asked how much I'd donated to aid Katrina victims.

"Fifty Dollars", said I.

She thought a moment and said, "Give them another hundred."

So just now, I donated another hundred dollars ($100.00) to the Salvation Army. You, too, should find a reputable charity that's acceptable to you, and give what you can. If you need suggestions, you'll find a bunch here. Ours continue to go to:

The Salvation Army, 1-800-SAL-ARMY (725-2769).

Afterwards go over to NZ Bear's, and you can log your contribution.

Technorati Tags: flood aid, Hurricane Katrina

Crossposted to Fat Steve's Blatherings

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy! The Modem Problem is Fixed!

2005-08-30T22:05:00.000-05:00

The laptop is back! After sending it to HP, for hardware repair, all I have to do is re-install all the software it used to have.

Of course, there was one glitch. When I got "Stan" back, he couldn't find the wireless modem. I tried to hook him to the modem by ethernet cable (the desktop, "Ollie," normally uses that). But Stan couldn't find the modem. So my newly repaired laptop was good for little except playing freecell.

Tonite, I went to Circuit City, where Stan was purchased, and asked for help. After some fumbling (the technician who looked at it first thought it was a hardware problem, but a senior tech intervened), he clicked "Start," brought up "My Computer," right clicked, clicked "properties," clicked the "hardware" tab, clicked the "device manager button," clicked the "network adaptors" plus sign, right clicked the wireless modem icon, clicked "update driver", and put the recovery disk I'd brought with me into the machine. A few minutes later, and Bob's your uncle. (Well, when I got home, I had to type in the WEP password, but that was trivial).

So, hurrah, hurrah, I now have a computer that works at a decent processor rate again. Life is perfect, till tomorrow. I will check whether I can connect Stan to the modem via the cable I bought Real Soon Now.

Hope your computers are working well.

Inadvertantly Funny Headlines

2005-08-18T06:26:00.000-05:00

From the Best of the Web Today for August 17th.:

Dept. of Redundancy Dept.
"This is a crisis of crisis proportions for the DMV."--Janis Hazel of the District of Columbia Department of Motor Vehicles, quoted by the Associated Press, Aug. 17

They Really Ought to Leave This to Doctors
"Mo. Officials Probe Intestine Infections"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 16

Drawing Snickers From the Restaurant at the End of the Universe
"Study Details Bar at Center of Milky Way"--headline, Associated Press, Aug. 17

My Laptop is Gone

2005-08-17T05:32:00.000-05:00

I hope to have it back next week, just when we get back from the trip I wish we could take it on.

I'll be gone from Friday through Tuesday, up in more or less Northern Minnesota (though not the really far northern part that's in Canada).

Hope you're enjoying your summer.

Frustration

2005-08-14T20:41:00.000-05:00

The frustration level has been rather great at Casa St. Onge lately. The laptop, which I prefer to use because it is so much faster, and with wireless web connection, will need to go in for repair. Also, before I could get HP to agree to repair it, I had to reformat my hard disk, and now I can't get it attempt a wireless connection with the modem (and as I typed this, it occured to me I might need to run a driver disk so that the damn thing knows it can access the web via wireless; I'll try that in a minute). Further, when I can use it, I can't use a mouse, as the damn USB ports won't recognize any hardware.

Also, the computer will be gone at least a week, so I won't be able to take it with me when we go up to the North Shore (of Lake Superior) on Friday. More frustration.

Did read a good novel though. The Dance of Time, by David Drake and Eric Flint. The sixth and final novel in an sf alternate history featuring time-travelling intelligent machines from the far future, and the Byzantine General Belisarius, one of history's all-time great military geniuses. If you'd like to check them out, you can get the first three free at http://www.baen.com/library/. Just download An Oblique Approach, In the Heart of Darkness, and Destiny's Shield. If you don't like science fiction, forget it, but if you do, you can get a whole bunch of free stuff as e-books at Baen, and the entire catalog for $4.00-to-$6.00 a copy. No annoying encryption schemes, either, and once you've bought it (assuming it isn't free), you can download it as many time as you'd like, in HTML, Word/Wordpad, MS Reader, Rocket/REB1100, or Palm/Win CE/Psion formats. No encryption or another annoyances. Baen's motto: 'The first hit is always free, kiddies!', and they've hooked me well. The new novel won't be published till February, but I payed extra for an electronic advanced reader copy!

Other than that, little to say currently.

Astounding

2005-07-27T06:47:00.000-05:00

I just ate a pork rib (6:48), and I'm not sick to my stomach.

Interesting Buildings

2005-07-27T06:37:00.000-05:00

A hat tip to James Lileks, who directed me to this Chicago building slide show, and this Russian building.

Not to be chauvinistic, but ours is better.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2005-07-24T20:03:00.000-05:00

K. and I saw it yesterday, with our friends L. and T. and what we want to say is, this is one stone weird movie.

Four thumbs up, we loved it, and neither K. nor I expected it to be nearly as good as it was.

Last Week

2005-07-23T13:29:00.000-05:00

Haven't really had much going the on since I last posted here. K. and I did go to the movies yesterday, and saw The Island. A pretty good sci-fi action flick, if you like that sort of thing -- and we do. Two thumbs up from Casa St. Onge.

Today, we'll go see Charlie and the Choclate Factory with our friends L. and T., who will also have K.'s birthday card and present. Report on that tomorrow.

OOPS! I Forgot to Mention in the Previous Post

2005-07-15T08:21:00.000-05:00

Of all the television shows currently on the air, Battlestar Galactica may be the best. The second season starts tonite. Watch it.

It's Your Birthday, Charlie Brown!

2005-07-15T07:52:00.000-05:00

Well, really, it's my beloved K.'s birthday. Right now, we're in the middle of our "find the card" game. We typically buy five or six greeting cards for birthdays, and anniversaries (we celebrate two, marriage and move-in together), and we distribute them around the house for the other to find. I've outdone myself this year -- one is in the mailbox, and when she gets the mail, she'll find it.

Birthday present is the widescreen, two-disc Phantom of the Opera. We both love the music, and the movie version was spectacular. An added bonus -- with a recorded soundtrack, they were able to get the lyrics very nicely distinct. On the Broadway soundtrack album, it isn't always clear what's being sung.

Yesterday, we saw Fantastic Four. It's a movie made from a comic book, and about as good/bad as most of them. A lot of people are down on it for some reason, but I enjoyed it. I just didn't enjoy it a lot, or consider it a great film.

Oh, among the previews was one for an upcoming animated Tim Burton film, Corpse Bride. Looks very good. The preview for Sky High, which is a sort of live-action Incredibles, seemed fair, as did Ice Age 2: The Meltdown,which I've seen the preview for before. And there were posters up for a Terry Gilliam movie of the Grimm fairy tales that looked intriguing. On the other hand, Transporter 2, and The New World, are right out, and The Island is probably on our "skip it" list too. There was a seventh preview for something I can't remember, so it probably wasn't much.

It's been very hot and muggy here (Thank You, God, for creating air conditioning). Hope the weather's nice where you are.

Recent Reading

2005-07-11T01:40:00.000-05:00

The "Heirs of Alexandria" fantasy series by Mercedes Lackey, Eric Flint, and David Freer. It consists of three novels so far, The Shadow of the Lion, A Mankind Witch, and This Rough Magic. For some reason, the novels were published out of chronological order (Witch is the second chronologically, but the third published, and that just recently).

They're all very good, and after finishing A Mankind Witch, I decided to read them all over again. Just as enjoyable on the second or third time through.

The series is set in an alternate universe in which Hypatia of Alexandria, a neo-Platonist philosopher became a convert to Christianity, and miraculously saved the Library of Alexandria from burning. (Hypatia is a historical figure, but in real history she didn't convert, and the Library did burn). Magic works here, and Grand Duchy of Lithuania, nominally ruled by Duke Jagellion, but actually by the Demon Chernobog, is intriguing against the Holy Roman Empire (remember the "Night on Bald Mountain" sequence from Disney's Fantasia? That's Chernobog torturing the damned souls). The main characters are Prince Manfred of Brittany, third in line to the throne, and his bodyguard/tutor/nudje Erik Hakkonsen of Iceland and Vinland.

But there are lots of other characters, not all human, and intrigue, romance, sex, derring-do and general fun. Very good reading, and I recommend them to anyone who likes this sort of thing.

Nuisancy, but the benefits outweigh the costs.

2005-07-09T04:02:00.000-05:00

Bariatric surgery, I mean. Despite all the complaints I've made about not being able to eat easily, it was worth it.

I peaked at 465 lbs. I'm now down to about 340. Or to put it another way, for the first time in years, I can step onto our bathroom scale, and not go over its highest reading.

As for my clothes, they're falling off me. I mean that literally. I still have some pants that were tight before, and won't immediately hit the ground when I pull them on and let go, but the pants that fit right before have to be held up with a belt or a hand. Otherwise, they immediately migrate to my ankles.

So, I'll settle. There are three or four kinds of bariatric surgery currently, and if you have a persistent obesity problem, I recommend you look into them.

Me, I'm sorry I didn't do this years ago.

A boring week

2005-07-06T07:10:00.000-05:00

Nothing much has been happening around here, except that it rained several times. I also managed to get the grass cut.

K. and I saw War of the Worlds last weekend. Eh. Special effects are nice, the come out of the ground touch was good, but mostly, I can't see a reason for this picture.

Whew, Tired

2005-06-29T03:28:00.000-05:00

I spent most of Tuesday asleep, though why I was so tired I don't know.

Otherwise, nothing much of a day, with one exception. I received A Mankind Witch from Amazon. This is the second book of the "Heirs of Alexandria" series, an alternate history in which the Library at Alexandria didn't burn, and magic works. The first and third volumes have been published already. A Mankind Witch is by David Freer, the other two were by Freer, Mercedes Lackey, and Eric Flint. Recommended, if you like this sort of thing at all.

Today, the new War of the Worlds opens. K. and I will see it, either today or Thursday.

Oh, Yeah, Meant to Ask

2005-06-27T13:47:00.000-05:00

Hotmail is screwed up for some reason. I can access my account through Outlook Express, but not directly through the web page. If anyone has advice on how I can get logged on, or how I can contact them*, it would be appreciated.

* How do you deal with Hotmail problems? Well, to start with, you log on. If you can't log on, you're screwed. If you were ever tempted to be a socialist, the inability of people to make computers work ought to cure it.

Monday, June 27th

2005-06-27T13:21:00.000-05:00

Well, the air conditioner continues to hold. That's a blessing.

I finished another e-book, John Ringo's Ghost. It's the kind of thing that Tom Clancy might have written, back when he was good. It's also awfully dirty in places. Let's just say that Michael Harmon is not the a very likeable person in some ways. Still, I enjoyed it. Recommended, especially if, like me, you're a Neanderthal right winger.

And just in time, too. The Postal Screwup has a package for me, containing a dead tree book, A Mankind Witch. This is a fantasy by David Freer, who co-wrote The Shadow of the Lion and What Rough Magic with Mercedes Lackey and Eric Flint. Witch is part of the same series, and alternate universe in which magic works, and the library of Alexandria was not burned down. I liked the first two a lot, and I've read portions of the present one and like it, too. With any luck, I'll have it tomorrow. With great luck, I'll have it today.

It rained this morning, so I can put off watering for another day or so. I need to make an appointment for an eye exam for new glasses. Otherwise, not much happening today.

Web Weirdness

2005-06-26T13:14:00.000-05:00

For some reason, I'm having trouble getting to sites, especially when using the "back" button. Don't know what gives, but I may not be able to post for a while.

Finished

2005-06-26T02:33:00.000-05:00

Weber's At All Costs. I liked it, quite a lot. Four and a half out of five stars.

Now, of course, Ghost, by John Ringo. I also have The Vast Left Wing Conspiracy out from the library.

If you are a science-fiction fan, you don't want to go anywhere near the Baen Books website, at http://www.baen.com/. Trust me, you can't afford it. This won't stop me from going back, but you can still save yourselves from the addiction.

STAY AWAY! IT'S A TRAP!

Saturday, June 25th, 2005

2005-06-25T19:42:00.000-05:00

It's been a good day. K. and I went to the movies and saw the new Bewitched, which we both enjoyed. We also had some nachos, and, despite a few bad moments on my part, I didn't get sick. For that matter, I had some stew beef earlier, and tolerated that as well. We came straight home after the movie, rather than our usual restaurant stop.

In fact, I've only been in the house a few minutes, since I was using the computer before we left, and just had it hibernate. The weather today is nice, and even nicer, the air conditioning is still working. I guess it was just a vibration caused by the pipe leaning against the compressor/heat exchanger (thank you, Lord, for sparing us the repair bill).

Oh by the way, concerning Bewitched, I didn't see her in any of the previews, but the part of "Endora"/the actress playing "Endora" went to Shirley MacLaine. Funny, and she did well. In fact, everyone in the cast did well, and I liked the script and direction. So, recommended by K., higher recommendation by me.

My one problem at the moment is an overabundance of reading material. The worst is that Baen Books has figured a new way to remove money from fools like me. Publishers print "Advanced Reader copies" of new books (they're the same as the regular editions, except for lack of final proofreading, and always being paperback), and send them out to reviewers. Baen decided to make some of theirs available in electronic format, namely At All Costs, by David Weber, which is the next in the "Honor Harrington" series, and Ghost, the first of a new series by John Ringo. No distribution costs (aside from processing your credit card bill), and, since we're getting it months early, he's doing us a favor, so he charges slightly more than normal for an e-book. They're a mere $15.00, instead of the $4-$6 dollars he usually gets away with. I'd rant about this, but Chapter 43 is REALLY good, so I've got to get back to reading.

Just call me 'Sucker!'

Pray for Us Homeowners

2005-06-23T09:47:00.000-05:00

Some time ago, a downspout on the side of our house came loose. It's been lying against the side of the house, in back, near the air conditioner's heat exchanger.

Last night, as K. went to work (she's on graveyard shift), the AC was making a funny noise. So I turned it off, intending to call the repair guy today. After I turned it off, K. noticed the downspout was touching the AC, so she moved it.

This morning, when we turned the AC on, it worked, and no noise so far. Please, God, make it have been the downspout. It's supposed to be over ninety today.

The Terrible Pain of Existence

2005-06-21T07:34:00.000-05:00

The last week has been Hell on earth.

On Wednesday the 15th, K. and I saw Batman Begins, and I didn't like it as much as everyone else in the universe seems to. Instead, I found it silly in a few places (the car chase, the rationale behind the League of Shadows, and the doomsday microwave that doesn't cook meat).

On Thursday, my friend Lee Reynolds and I drove about 20 miles south of the Twin Cities and bought some more plants for the house, which she got wholesale because of her employment with a gardener. Later, I couldn't find my check book to pay her with.

On Friday, I mowed the lawn, or half of it, and I started to develop a blister. Also, I was hot, and tired, because the grass was so thick, and the push mower isn't in good shape. I decided to put the rest off till Saturday.

On Saturday, I finished mowing, and still blistered, hot, and tired.

I can't remember what went wrong Sunday, but it must have been similarly terrible.

And yesterday, I watered the plants, and then, it rained. In fact, we had a thunderstorm for several hours. I got wet retrieving the mail! Also, the power was out, forcing me to reset several clocks, and re-record the answering machine message. For that matter, my local library branch closed because of the power outage! I wasn't able to obtain a book that's on reserve.

Meanwhile, I see by the news that the Iranians are complaining, just because they live in a dictatorship where they can get killed for stepping out of line, and their elections are frauds. Wimps.

Seriously, we frequently forget how wonderful our lives our, in the 21st Century USA. Take time to give thanks that we have things so nearly perfect. Compared to the way most people have lived throughout history, this is Eden.

Wednesday was Nice.

2005-06-16T08:16:00.000-05:00

K. had the day off, and we went to see Batman Begins. We both liked it, although K. more than I (I thought the 'League of Shadows' was a little hard to swallow, and the car chase sequence was just dumb. Also, if you have a microwave generator that can boil all the water in an area, including in pipes and underground, you have a weapon that will cook people. Yet it didn't.) Overall, I find it inferior to the Batman with Keaton and Nicholson, but in the same league.

Afterwards, for once, we didn't eat out. The restaurant portions are too large for us now.

Oh, it rained. It's still raining almost every day.

A Good Saturday

2005-06-12T18:58:00.000-05:00

K. and I went to the movies yesterday, and saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Two thumbs down, way down in my case. Doesn't make a lick of sense, the characters are repulsive, and the action scenes are stupid. A special disability in my case, the use of the jerky, moving, shaking camera that's supposed to be arty. It makes me sick to my stomach, literally. There were several long sequences that I couldn't watch.

But afterwards, a nice dinner at Baker's Square, with me picking at my pot roast and not getting sick. Most of it came home with me, and I'll have food for the rest of today. Also, summer has finally arrived, and it was sunny and warm yesterday. And I usually enjoy spending time with my beloved, no matter what we're doing.

So, all in all, a good day.

Book Review

2005-06-12T18:14:00.000-05:00

I posted this over at Barnes & Noble. It's a review of Eric Flint's new novel, The Rivers of War.

In real history, Sam Houston was severely wounded at the Battle of the Horseshoe. He nearly died, and was out of the remainder of the War of 1812. Later, Houston became a friend and protege of Andrew Jackson.

In real history, in U.S. relations with the Indians of the Southeast, almost everyone made the wrong decision at crucial points. Half the Cherokee Nation died on the Trail of Tears, and that was BETTER than the casualty rate for the Creeks and Chickasaws.

In Eric Flint's new alternate history, Houston's foot slips a second before the arrow wounds him -- and the world changes.

Unlike Flint's previous novels, this is "straight" alternate history, with no fantasy or science fiction elements. But like 1632 and the Belisarius series, this book shows Flint's extensive knowledge of history and ability to get into the heads of his characters, and his grasp of the processes and possibilities of a historical situation.

This book is an excellent read, really well done. I'm looking forward to the next volume in the series. Highly recommended.

More Vomiting

2005-06-09T03:51:00.000-05:00

At 3:40, & 4:20.

Sometimes, my New Stomach Bites!

2005-06-09T02:13:00.000-05:00

Like now. A few minutes ago, I ate, for the first time today. I finished a few scraps of meat from some ribs, and ate the equivalent of one small potato, or less. Now, I'm nauseous.

I recommend bariatric surgery to anyone badly overweight and unable to lose otherwise, but be warned: if you are a fast eater, you will have many bad days.

Update, twelve minutes later, 2:19: barfing.

Update, 2:25: and again.

Update, 2:31: With luck, I just sicked up the last of it.

Update, 3:05: No, just upchucked more.

Alone Again, Naturally

2005-06-07T05:03:00.000-05:00

K. has returned to work, and so for the first time in three weeks, I'm here and she's not. Feels a bit odd.

The last week at Chez Saintonge has not been the best. K., in deference to her belief that waking someone up is just slightly less serious than major surgery, went out walking alone several days. Thus I missed some nice time with her. When I was up again in the wee morning hours, last Friday, her foot was hurting her so badly that the walk had to be cut short.

In non-K. medical news, I spent an inordinate amount of time upchucking last week. I'm begining to think my new stomach just can't handle eggs, which is what came up most often.

And in non-medical news, our TV went out for several days. One problem was the weather. I much prefer satellite to cable, but the downside is that during storms, you ain't gonna be able to watch. This last week, the weather sucked a lot.

When rain wasn't causing me to miss the few shows I watch, Dish Network ™ was. Based on my experience with them, I'd say you should get DirectTV, but then if I had them, I might be recommending Dish. Still, when we eventually move, I will switch providers.

The problem was that the satellite receiver box has a "smart card" that is supposed to be replaced periodically, for who knows what reason. Rather than send letters or phone me, they put annoying messages on my screen. Since I Tivo almost everything and watch later, it means I couldn't enjoy certain shows I wanted.

Then there's the fact that, though Dish said they sent the new "smart card," I didn't get them. I called again, and eventually got a replacement. It didn't work, I think because they screwed up. Finally, they sent me a new satellite box, and after hooking that up, I was able to get reception again, but it was rather frustrating.

And when you're not getting service, there's nothing so infuriating as hearing a recording tell you what a valued customer you are, and then trying to do something, anything, to keep you from talking to people who might be able to help you (not that, in the end, they were much help). Somewhere, there's an accountant who told them how much customer service supposedly "costs." He didn't tell them how much customer rage costs, because he couldn't estimate that precisely. So he left it out of his model, which amounts to making an estimate that customer annoyance has zero effect on business, a very precise estimate indeed. Morons.

So, maybe this week will be better. I hope so.

Not Quite a Marathon Man

2005-05-30T15:30:00.000-05:00

I stayed up all night Sunday/Monday, as I have disturbed, irregular sleep patterns. So, around five AM this morning, K. asks me if I would like to go for a walk with her? 'NO, definitely,' I told her, 'I would NOT like to go for a walk with you.' Not at that ghastly hour, when all I wanted was to go to sleep.

But I told her that in the car, as we were on our way to the Wood Lake ~~Mosquito Sanctuary~~ Nature Center, on the legal outskirts of Minneapolis. She laughed, she hadn't wanted to go walking either, but did so because afterwards, she's glad she has.

The Nature Center surrounds what used to be a lake, and is now a marsh. Rather lovely, if you like that sort of thing. There is one segment that's annoying, though. There's a floating bridge that the geese use as a toilet. Watch your step! But otherwise its fine, and we saw goose families, a few ducks, red wing blackbirds, and a squirrel or two. I suspect the weather is keeping the wildlife asleep later, as in past years we've seen deer there.

The Center was nice, but the temperature was COLD. It's May 30th, fer cryin' out loud, and I could see my breath in the air! This has its points (no bugs, keeps you moving), but I'd prefer a late spring/early summer that seems like late spring or early summer. It's also been wet -- since spring, I don't think the Sin Twitties have gone as much as five days straight without at least some rain. It does save me watering the shrubs, one of which is not blooming nicely. I can't recall offhand what it is, but we have some lovely purple flowers.

K. has a pedometer, and she walked around 5000 steps, meaning somewhere between a mile and two miles. So did I, of course. This took us around two hours, as we walked till we hit a bench, stop, and then continue after a few minutes of rest and reading. With our joints and weight, this is very necessary. And with our reading addictions, it's best not to go to long without the printed word.

Back home, a snack, and to bed for seven or eight hours. I've been reading Iris Johansen's Countdown, and I was out walking, so my dreams were about walking and nuclear terrorism. The snack before bed was a smidgeon too much, but no nausea, just a feeling of being overfull.

I may go out later and cut the grass, taking advantage of the sunny day this has become. If it weren't Memorial Day, we'd go to the library, but it's shut. OK, Hennepin County, I can appreciate the idea of holidays, but shutting down essential public services???

And now I'm back. A good day, so far. Thank you, God.

Movie Review -- Madagascar

2005-05-30T02:48:00.000-05:00

Not great, but adequate. The preview gives a good idea of most of it, but there are some themes that aren't covered, particularly "What does Alex the Lion do when he doesn't have anyone feeding him steak regularly?" Jokes aren't great, but they're OK, and the visuals are well done.

K. and I like a lot of kids movies. This ain't The Incredibles, but it's not bad.

A Great Personal Triumph

2005-05-29T20:45:00.000-05:00

I just ate perhaps three quarters of a cup of pot roast with gravy and some onions, and I don't feel in the least nauseous.

That may not seem like much to you, but the pot roast was leftovers from last week, when we ate at Baker's Square, and K. had to stop the car on the way home so I could puke.

Good heavens, I may get the hang of eating solid food yet!

Movie Reviews

2005-05-24T10:38:00.000-05:00

We saw Monster-in-law on Friday, SW III on Sunday.

Both were OK, worth seeing, but not great. Two thumbs up, but not very high.

We both found the writing deficient in both movies, and both thought that the themes of SW III, and indeed the whole series, were such that trying to read a message about current politics into it is ludicrous.

One secret to a happy marriage: have similar tastes. Another is never tell you spouse anything of importance, but that's another story.

Medical News from Casa St. Onge

2005-05-24T10:22:00.000-05:00

K.'s been variable. The relatively minor post-op infection that led to us going to the doctor last Thursday has pretty much cleared up (HealthPartners wouldn't prescribe over the phone, but they did get us in on a fully booked day, and as soon as they'd seen her the doctor prescribed appropriate anti-bacterials which were filled at the clinic). She's really feeling much better. . .

I've been pretty good, except for a spot of nausea last night (brought on by eating a McDonald's cheeseburger too rapidly), and some acid reflux (a condition of long standing).

Tomorrow, we see our surgeon for follow-up appointments.

A Lousy Week

2005-05-19T10:28:00.000-05:00

My car busted (upper rear wheel ball joint went), and I have to replace them. The weather stinks. K. is sick (not serious, but uncomfortable).

I hope you're OK.

Major Embarrassment

2005-05-15T17:59:00.000-05:00

It's my eighteenth wedding aniversary, and I completely forgot about it. The only reason I'm not in the dog house is that K. forgot too. So I get an operation pass.

Now, all we have to do is figure out how we celebrate, when K. can't go anywhere or eat anything.

Update: She remembered to get an anniversary card! I didn't. I'm doomed!

Wife is Back

2005-05-14T11:39:00.000-05:00

K. was discharged Thursday, and is doing fairly well. She doesn't have much pain, but has some. No nausea lately.

She has had a lot of water retention, so much so that she gained twenty pounds between the operation and coming home. She then lost ten pounds in one day. The water also left her short of breath at times.

Finally, she can't bend over. This is a real nuisance.

Mostly, though, she's ok, and able to get around the house without help. I had visions of not being able to go anywhere, for fear of her not being able to be left alone.

If anything, she's too good. Any day now, she'll steal the laptop, and I'll be forced to use the creaking old desktop downstairs. C'est la vie.

Today, one of my best friends is having a birthday party, so I'm off to that.

Progress Report, Monday and Tuesday, K.

2005-05-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

My beloved is doing better, gradually.

On Monday, the hemovac was out, the foley back in. For some reason, her bladder wasn't working. The naso-gastric tube was out, the oxygen monitor was back -- blood saturation was low.

Tuesday, the foley was out again, and she was running to the bathroom a lot. Still trouble breathing.

Today, she told me by phone that she'll be coming home tomorrow. I, meanwhile, have to go to Goodwill and borrow a tub bench for her to use during recovery. Otherwise, OK.

Thank you, Jesus.

Progress Report, Sunday, K.

2005-05-09T08:07:00.000-05:00

K. did rather better yesterday. She was up twice while I was at the hospital, and managed to walk faster and further than the day before. It was also easier for her to get up. The foley catheter is gone, the oxygen monitor is disconnected, and the foot squeezers are off. This means we must only disconnect the naso-gastric tube from suction, take off the oxygen canula, and unplug the iv (and rearrange its tubing) before going for a stroll.

The hemovac to drain her wound is still there, and she's still confined to ice chips as her only oral intake. The hemovac will probably come out today. Once her first bowel movement occurs, the naso-gastric tube will come out. I'm not sure how long they'll keep her on oxygen.

So, soon I'll be heading over there -- I had to get up early to take out the trash, instead of sleeping past noon as I did the last two days. And as soon as the grass dries (it rained last night), I need to cut that. But mostly, things seem to be going well, and I expect my sweetie home in the next few days.

K. Update

2005-05-07T21:09:00.000-05:00

I couldn't establish connection at the hospital yesterday or today, and I was too tired and busy to blog yesterday.

We left for the hospital at 5:15 AM, arrived at 5:30, and went upstairs. Around 8:00, after drawing blood, taking an EKG, and other things, K. was wheeled to the operating room.

A little after 9:00, Dr. Buchwald, our surgeon, informed me that she'd done very well, and would go to post-op as soon as the resident closed her up. Eventually, she was delivered there, about 10:30, and around 2:00 to 2:30 was taken upstairs.

Unlike me, K. did not tolerate things real well, and was still very out of it. She had a lot of pain.

Today, when I went back, she was feeling slightly better. I helped her get up twice, once just to sit in a chair, once to take a brief walk around the floor. This was an incredible production, as it involved disconnecting her oxygen saturation monitor, taking off her oxygen canula, removing her foot squeezers, unplugging her iv pump, draping the iv tubing and pain medicine cord over the pump, unhooking the hemovac and foley bag from the bed, disconnecting her naso-gastric tube from suction, and then draping the tubes over the iv pump so she could walk without tripping on it. Getting her shoes on, and getting her out of bed wasn't easy either.

As with me, she can't have anything by mouth except a few ice chips, which is incredibly uncomfortable. Once her bowels work again, that will change, and she'll get clear liquids.

More tomorrow.

On a personal note, while at the hospital Friday I took the opportunity to weigh myself on the fat person's scale: I weighed 377, which is 80 (eighty) pounds less than January. Cool.

Light Blogging Today

2005-05-06T03:33:00.000-05:00

I expect blogging to be light today, and perhaps for the next week. Sorry, those who wait eagerly on my deathless prose.

Today, my beloved wife K. goes into the hospital for the same type of surgery I had in January, vertical banded gastroplasty (check the archives here for more). I'll spend the day worrying obsessively that she won't be all right, and catching up on my sleep. I'll blog some, if possible, but I'm not sure I'll either be up to it, or able to get a connection in the hospital.

Prayers for her health are welcomed.

THE HOUSE OF SAUD MUST BE DESTROYED -- AND WILL BE!

Personal Life Update

2005-04-27T12:34:00.000-05:00

It goes fairly well. My biggest problem is still the way my stomach sometimes decides 'You ate a bit too much,' and insists on returning some of it to me, but it isn't happening as much as it used to.

K. and I saw Sahara recently, and liked it. Half-serious, half comic, a lot of fun.

By the way, can any of you explain to me what the U.S. Postal Screwup (formerly the U.S. Post Awful) was thinking when it invented it's package tracking system? Here's the tracking info the Postal Screwup gives me:

Apr 22, 2005 04:45:57 PM Fernley NV USA SHIPPED
Apr 22, 2005 12:00:00 AM US ELECTRONIC SHIPPING INFO RECEIVED

In essence, it's been shipped, and it will get there when it gets there. There is no way to track the package so you can find out where it is, and estimate its time of arrival.

This is the way United Parcel Service does it:

Apr 27, 2005 10:33:00 AM EAGAN MN US IN TRANSIT TO
Apr 27, 2005 10:32:00 AM OKLAHOMA CITY OK US DEPARTURE SCAN
Apr 27, 2005 12:37:00 AM OKLAHOMA CITY OK US ARRIVAL SCAN
Apr 26, 2005 09:55:00 PM TULSA OK US DEPARTURE SCAN
Apr 26, 2005 08:47:12 PM TULSA OK US ORIGIN SCAN
Apr 26, 2005 05:33:59 PM Coffeyville KS USA SHIPPED
Apr 26, 2005 02:03:50 PM US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED

With UPS, I can see that my package left KS yesterday, went to Tulsa OK, left Tulsa last evening and arrived in Oklahoma City just past midnight, and left Oklahoma City this morning. It was probably shipped by air, and will arrive in the Twin Cities' area sometime today. I can expect it tomorrow, or Friday at worst.

UPS's service makes me think well of them. The Postal Screwup's makes me angry at them. Why are the idiots mocking me this way? And I do mean mocking -- the information on the package was downloaded minutes ago; the package itself is in my living room. Presumably, sometime tomorrow or the next day, they'll tell me they've delivered it.

Idiots.

Trackback!

2005-04-20T11:07:00.000-05:00

You may notice that I now have it here on Cut Steve's. I'll have it on Fat Steve's soon too. All this is due to Artesea of the Haloscan support forum, who helped me get the template code right.

Nice people like this make the world a better place.

THE HOUSE OF SAUD MUST BE DESTROYED -- AND WILL BE!

Good News and Bad News

2005-04-18T20:00:00.000-05:00

I have good news. It's been raining a lot in Minneapolis, so I haven't been able to cut the grass. Great, I didn't want to anyway.

I have bad news. It's been raining a lot in Minneapolis, so the grass is growing well, and my beloved K. bugs me about why the grass hasn't been cut.

Can any of you arrange a draught on my block, so the damned green stuff just stops growing?